With Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras and Lent all in the same week, we are reminded that love and sacrifice go hand in hand! Couples seem to strengthen their intimacy and commitment when they are able to make it through tough times together, persevere we call it! Perseverance happens when couples are able to make sacrifices both together and for each other. Perseverance can bring new strength and wisdom to a marriage with hope and confidence that can only come from making it through tough times. Below I have listed a few of the decisions that helps a person face the tougher times in a relationship with strength:
1) Listening – Arguments happen when a couple is faced with unexpected financial pressures. Say, one of you has been let go from work. When nervous, we all want to be heard. Try listening to all that your partner has to say. Without jumping in, disagreeing or becoming upset. Just hear your partner out, all the way out, until they have fully made their point. Then asked if they can listen to you.
2) Assuming – When tough times happen, especially concerns with kids, it is a time ripe for differences. The best gift you can give your relationship is when you speak to a concern about how the other has disciplined or not disciplined without assuming anything negative about their intent.
3) Learning – Couples who seem to navigate tough times the best are the one’s who look for the lessons learned from each other and from the challenge they are facing while they are going through it versus after it is finished. I heard a husband once tell his wife “I need to forgive like you are!” This gave her the strength to continue to show him how and why this was important to her.
It is amazing how relationships can grow when individuals see their tough times as a time to grow and blossom! It makes sense that this week of love and sacrifice precedes the Spring, where all things grow!!